Chicago

Are you ready?

Sitting by the fire place and wondering

How the hell did you find me

Did someone send you

Hours pass by and I cant tell anymore

A man is playing the guitar in another room

You understand and relate all too well

Is this some kind of setup that has been put in place

Everyone seemed to disappear like shadows on the wall

The aroma of grilled steak filled the air around us

Interested, but not quite convinced 

I could not decipher if it was comfort or fear that I felt

Standing next to you by the campfire

Heat waves started coming over me as I stared into the orange flames

I started to think about everything that had happened in the last year or so

Is everything okay?

I heard you ask but I couldn't yet respond

I don't need you to play the hero

Like a guardian or protector

You follow me out into the mountains surrounding us

Is this safe?

Maybe I should run and seek some sort of help

I have to ask myself if I have anything left to lose

The definite unfortunate answer is no

If this should be my redemption or destruction

…

You found me in a library elevator a few months later

Familiarity and comfort were just the seeds of what we had

You became my right hand as easily as you became my guide

Across city lines through warm days and cold nights

Amongst overwhelming distress 

But never losing hope

Embracing not only each other

But the shortcomings in us both 

Aspiration and dreams

Support and words

Time and thoughts

Recognition and benevolence

All the things I needed 

All the things you offered 

If time was ever on my side

That was my greatest redemption

The fire at the lodge is what marked the flames of us

The flames that burned at the base of our beginning  

My deepest fear of fire had been released

For, that was the safest I had felt all year

Those flames burned bright for the time you stayed

What could have lasted one day is what a year marked

There was no longer a routine for me

Only endless days filled with chaos

Confusion and regret

Blank slates marked my progress

Lonely thoughts and broken ideas

Ashes of the dreams we had 

You left abruptly without saying goodbye

The winter air was threatening to my tears

Not a word from you

Apathetic thoughts

State lines were the lengths at which you moved

Did you not feel the need to keep in touch?

Was the business plan not enough for you?

Maybe this was the destruction I knew I would relive

I hope all is well with you in Chicago

May the flames burn bright where you are

I encourage you to take these words for what they are

My heart is heavy but my arms are not

If I ever find the courage within myself

The exuberance you displayed

The passion buried in my roots

Even though you moved away from my existence

Just know you were the most substantiating move for me

Kindest Regards,

Thank you